How to Discuss Money with Your Date

VantageScore®

Published February 6, 2026
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Asking for a credit score on a first date used to be a deal breaker. Today, for many Millennials and Gen Z, it’s a compatibility test where finances shape everything from lifestyle choices to long-term goals. There’s even an online dating app that matches people based on their credit scores. While that may feel extreme to some, it reflects a broader shift in how younger generations think about money.

Unlike previous generations, Millennials and Gen Z young adults are more willing to discuss finances openly, even on the first date. With student loan debt at an all-time high and rising housing costs, money is a part of real life and for many people, an important factor when choosing a partner.

According to a  Bankrate survey, Millennials are nearly twice as likely to feel comfortable discussing money with a romantic partner. That includes sharing credit scores and exchanging stories about debt.

Young adults today face some of the highest student debt levels of any previous generation, plus stagnant wages and often limited financial support from parents who may have been hit hard by the recession. Add in inflation, rising rent, and the pressure to “have it all figured out,” and it’s no wonder money is on their mind and an important consideration when choosing a partner. A lack of financial stability can influence where one lives, how one travels, and when one buys a home.

So, if you’re a Millennial or Gen Z, what do you need to know about finances? You don’t need to ask for someone’s credit report on the first date. Here are ways to determine whether the person you’re dating has a responsible attitude toward debt, credit, and finances.

Are They a Responsible Borrower?

One of the easiest and most natural ways to start a financial conversation is through education and student loans. Discussing where you attended school often brings up the topic of how you paid for it. Student loan debt is very common, and for many young adults, it’s one of their largest financial obligations. 

Sharing experiences around student loans can actually be a bonding moment. Maybe you’re both juggling monthly payments or trying to figure out how to have a balance between paying off debt and setting aside money for the future. When you’re open about your own challenges, it creates space for honest conversation without judgment.

What matters most isn’t the amount of debt someone has, but how they handle it. Are they actually in the driver’s seat with their debt, or just along for the ride? Even in difficult situations, a responsible borrower takes ownership of their financial choices. A person who demonstrates adaptability and accountability in the face of debt is often better equipped to handle future financial difficulties.

Are They Living Within Their Means?

Living within your means doesn’t mean living a miserable life. It means understanding the difference between your current desires and what you can realistically afford without taking on a lot of debt. Although this can be a sensitive subject, it usually comes to light on its own. 

You may notice patterns in how your date spends money. Do they live an expensive lifestyle, but constantly complain about being broke? Are they thoughtful about budgeting, or do they rely heavily on credit cards without a plan to pay balances down? Let their daily habits speak for themselves; they show up in everyday conversations and choices. 

Eventually, if the relationship progresses, it’s healthy to talk openly about savings goals, spending habits, and financial priorities. When you’re transparent about your own financial journey, it can make your partner feel more comfortable opening up. 

Do They Know and Understand Their Credit Score?

A credit score is one of the most important yet often misunderstood financial tools. It unlocks everything from a new house to a better car rate. Your credit score reveals how potential lenders see you. 

Someone who regularly checks their credit score, understands what impacts it, and takes action to improve it is on top of their finances. It’s also important to recognize that traditional credit models haven’t always reflected the realities that Millennials and Gen Z experience. Many younger consumers may have high incomes or assets but limited credit histories because they’re worried about taking on debt. Others may have experienced setbacks due to student loans or economic issues beyond their control.

This is where newer credit scoring models, like VantageScore 4.0, play a role. VantageScore 4.0 is the most widely used VantageScore model in the marketplace. It scores 33 million more people than traditional credit scoring models, allowing millions of Americans, including young adults, to no longer be credit invisible. 

A fun tip to share with your date: VantageScore 4.0 looks at how you manage credit over time, not just how long you’ve had it, so responsible habits can matter more than a lengthy credit history. You and your date can get your free credit score at https://vantagescore.com/consumers/free-credit-scores.

Do They Think About the Future?

Asking a date how they envision their life five or ten years from now is one of the best ways to gauge their financial “vibe” without looking at a bank statement. Your date may be surprised when you ask how they imagine their retirement, but this can be a great indicator of their financial mindset. If your date sports a flashy wardrobe but gives no thought to the future or assumes they’ll be wealthy enough to retire at 50 with no current plan, they may not be thinking it through. See if they have similar retirement goals and an outlook like yours. Someone who talks openly about goals, even if they’re still figuring things out, demonstrates intentionality. Keep the conversation light and breezy rather than evaluative. You’re just getting to know each other, and it’s okay if they have a different financial mindset than you do. You can only control your own actions.

Knowing how someone handles their finances can be an indicator of their maturity level and their character. How far you decide to commit to the relationship may largely depend on what you discover about their attitudes toward money. 

For more information and helpful tips, visit  https://vantagescore.com/consumers.

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